Monday, September 20, 2010

Day 1 for everything

Well have flown through the first day. Have stuck to my menu plan, even resisted Miss 5's crusts from her sandwich at lunchtime. And no emotional eating what so ever, even when the kids did push all day.

So now I'm just quietly sipping away on a protein shake, having just gotten home from RPM. 530 cals gone Max HR 181- 97% and average 161- 86%, and I'm feeling every last bit of it too. I was very close to the puking stage, I think one more sprint and that would've been the end of me. So hard trying to keep it together driving home, with the kids in the car. Last thing Master 7 and Miss 5 needed to see, is mum with her head out the window. Even worse, if the cops had driven past at all!!!

Got thinking though, just made a status update on FB, about the puking stage, and a g/f commented that she hoped I feel alright. Just struck me, that already I seem to have my fitness freak friends, who get what I meant. And on the other hand, I've got the friends, who honestly thought that I was sick. Didn't have the heart to tell her, that it's a good thing to puke after a workout, it's what you almost aim to achieve every time you step in that gym, or pull your runners on.

So day 1 is off to a fantastic start. It is even now day 1 of me not smoking anymore. I've known that I needed to stop, just one of those things I thought I would get to, once I'd sorted my food and exercise. On the way home from gym tonight though, the thought of ever having a cigarette again in my life, made me feel even worse. So what I had left in my packet has gone straight into the bin. And not another one is ever going to pass these lips of mine.

Righto must go cook some tea now, before it gets too late, and then work out what's on the menu for tomorrow.



Sunday, September 19, 2010

Kick off!!!!!!!!!!!

Well it's the eve of the big kick off to the official challenge. Feeling nervous, excited, scared, excited, not sure and did I mention excited!!! My head isn't quite in the place it was a couple of weeks ago. Feeling better now though with having the menu plans and exercise programs to work with. Feels like I will be able to cope with the diet and exercise much better. Instead of trying to work it out myself. So did a big shop, fridge is full, pantry is full and gym gear ready.

Need to sit down tonight and do my measurements, take a piccie, talking of which hope DH hasn't thrown out the paper. Not sure if I really want to know what my measurements are. It's a starting point, the starting point of my new healthy life. The old Mel will go and a more happier improved model is waiting there, ready to shine.

Had another good shift today. Buddied up in the dementia unit today. Loved it, they were all so sweet and lovely. But apparently I caught them on a good day lol. Now am thinking of heading towards psycho-geriatric nursing. I've always enjoyed working with the dementia patients.

So ready for day 1, planning on doing a RPM session tomorrow night. And just surviving the first official day of school holidays. So will be a real test tomorrow.



Sunday, September 12, 2010

Why oh why

Why can't I have just one day, that's right just one, in fact I'd be happy with just a couple of hours, of no whingeing, crying, back chatting, fighting. moaning, groaning, complaining. And that's from the kids and the hubby. It's TTOM, and I feel bloated, have a headache, cramps, feel like shit. Worked til 10 last night, working again tonight til 9, and all I want to do is just chill for the day. But no, seems my family have lost all concept of that these days. Have been eating like shit the last couple of days, water hasn't even had a look in.

Can't wait for another week until the 12WBT starts, will be able to get some menu plans in my hot little hands and stay a little more focused. That is my biggest downfall is not always making the time to plan what I'm having to eat. I would like to do it the night before, but with working til 9 and 10 the last 3 nights, it's just so hard too. Which of course is just another excuse.

I am staying positive though, I know that I can do this and I will do this. This is just another little bump in the road, that I will be able to get over. Just hard when the family doesn't seem to help much. Tired of cooking the same meals over and over and having people complain about what's dished out to them. Well they better get used to a completely new lifestyle quick smart. No more giving into individual demands, you don't like it, you cook it yourself, is going to be my new motto.

Well must go think about jumping in the shower and getting ready for work. Thank goodness it's only a 4.5 hour shift tonight, don't think I could cope with much more than that.



Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Warning images may offend.

To be countable for the next 12 weeks, I've decided to do before, during and after photos. This is huge for me, literally putting it all out there. But it will make me think twice before anything goes through my lips that shouldn't. Will also post a piccie of my new boots. They just won't do up, so my goal is by the end of 12WBT I will be able to wear them.

Well for the news so far this week. It's going great. 45 mins cardio last night, Body Pump tonight. First time since the THR, felt fantastic being back again. Eating is going great guns as well. After school today, heated up some party pies, decided I was an idiot for doing it. So they went straight in the bin, and a tin of tuna and rice cakes came out instead.

So will be RPM tomorrow night, can't wait. Just love love love RPM!!!!!!!! So you could say things are just awesome at the moment. Life is really good, and about time too!

Well best post these pics and go get a green tea and curl up with my book for awhile.



Monday, September 6, 2010


My commitment is to stay focused on the program, not to run away when it gets all too hard and to get the newer, healthier, better model of myself out of hiding. And I’m committed to do the work to get there!

This is my commitment and promise, for not only the next 12 weeks, but for the rest of my life. Had a complete meltdown over the weekend. Best thing I did though, it has really refocused me, and made me finally realise that I need to do something, not only about my weight, but my entire life. I really am not happy with the person that I've become. I know I can be better and achieve more than what I am at the moment. So I'm shouting it to the world my commitment to Michelle, the 12 WBT, and my fellow challengers.

So started today fresh, put the last couple of days behind me, got up, dusted myself off and got on with it. Diet has been pretty good today. Did a 45 min cardio workout. Best bit, is I suffered through 10 min on the x trainer. I hate the x trainer, I try to avoid it at all costs. Not tonight, did 10 mins and felt great for doing it. So pump class tomorrow night, looking forward to doing it again. Haven't been to a class for over a year now.  Can't wait to get back again though.

Well homework is calling out to me, as well as a nice hot shower.



Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Struggling............but will push ahead.

Am really struggling to stay focused at the moment. The kids seem to be extra feral this week, hubby seems to be on the attack and defence all the time. It feels like they are just all in my face just constantly yelling. What I would give for just one night, just one, of peace. And of no arguments, no back chatting, no me needing to ask more than twice for anything to get done.

I haven't worked for 7 years, and now trying to get the whole study/work/house juggle, just right. Unfortunately, seems that since I don't work the hours like hubby, I'm still expected to do everything, and if there is anything that needs to be done. He just doesn't seem to understand, I'd like to not have to ask. That he can just walk in and say okay I'll give the floors a quick vac, or do kids readers, or baths/showers. It's just constantly feeling like an uphill battle.

So needless to say the stress levels are high, and I'm really struggling to not just go running straight to the fridge or cupboard. More likely in the past both though. I have had a couple of glasses of wine. Know it wasn't the best idea, but felt like I was going to explode. Only had 2 glasses though,and tipped the rest down the sink. Didn't keep drinking, like usual.

On the up side, got to gym again tonight, even though the weather wasn't the greatest and would've been too easy to just come straight home and curl up in bed. I only did 30 mins, just couldn't get into it, also the top that I took, was just way too small, and I didn't feel very comfortable or confident in it. So went via the shops and picked up a couple new t.shirts. So all set to go for Friday.

Well hubby at gym, kids in bed, so might go run myself a nice warm bubble bath and just relax for awhile. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new beginning.