Day off...............................what's that??????

Today was going to be my day off. Instead I finally dragged myself to gym and did a Pump class. My legs, chest and shoulders are really not liking me at the moment. Told them just to suck it up though!!!! Then I caught up with a g/f for brunch afterwards. And now I'm going out Saturday night with her to an 80's Prom night. So of course had to go shopping as well. So got a short red skirt, funky top and a real classy HSM handbag to go with it. Looking forward to it, haven't been out for ages. So will be nice to get out for a few hours and just enjoy a few drinks and lots of dancing. And now I've been called into work for this afternoon, which is cool. I'm actually starting to miss not going if I have a few days off. Time to start thinking about shifts though, only 2 more weeks of school, and then I'll be qualified!!!!!!!!

Healthy living is going okay too. Just had the most beautiful vegi burger while out. Need to get the recipe, won't hurt the family to start eating a little more vegetarian. I'm glad now that I cooked up some cannelloni on Sunday, will pull that out for tea at work tonight now. Much better than the usual bikkies and coffee I'd be having.

Well must get stuck into this housework if I'm to be at work in a couple of hours!!

Mel

xx

Emotional Eating

The bitch I like to call emotional eating, is fighting to break free today. But I will be strong, and won't give in to her demands. Hard though, sitting here, wondering why I'm even bothering trying to become healthier. Hubby seems to be missing a pack of potato chips. I haven't touched them, didn't even know he had them actually. But of course because a 5 and 7 year old are denying it, so it must have been me. So if I do the right thing, I still get accused for doing the wrong thing. So tempting to just do the wrong thing, not worry about my health, as I don't seem to get any credit for doing a good job.

So needless to say, today has been tough. It hasn't been terrible, but it hasn't been great either. Was going to get to RPM tonight, after waking with a really sore throat, and nearly falling asleep throughout class during the day, didn't think it would be a great idea. Tomorrow will go for a walk when I get home from school though. Start with baby steps.

 Just having some roasted capsicum and tomato soup tonight, don't feel like much else. Already made up a garlic, ginger and chicken stir-fry for lunch tomorrow and will think about tea in the morning. Breakfast will be my all new favourite recipe. Protein powder, mixed with a cup of skim milk, handful of berries, or a banana and 1/4 cup of oats, whiz up in blender. Tastes sensational too, almost like porridge, but much tastier.

Okay time for a green tea, and fight off this bitch ;-)

Mel

xx

Sick of being a gunna

I'm sure we all know one of these in our lives. A 'gunna', gunna do so many different things, but never happens. Well I'm tired of being that person in my friends life's, so it's about time they found someone different. I've gotten real this week, got some great advice of a very special person in my life. Someone who understands the struggle of weight loss and food addiction, someone who has lost 50kg of their own, and is now a body builder and an awesome motivation.

So diet has been cleaned up, still had a couple of small things, but nothing major. And nothing that makes me just want to keep going with the binging and not stop. Next week I will start focusing on the exercise. As my now mentor told me, weight loss is 80% and 20% exercise, get your diet  under control, you'll get your life under control.

Tomorrow would normally be a really bad day for me. At TAFE all day, and then work 4.30- 9. I'm organised tonight though. I've made up a huge double batch of chicken stirfry, which I've eaten for tea, and got plenty for lunch tomorrow. I've also cooked up a small rolled roast lamb. In the morning I'll do a salad up throw in a handful of the lamb and there's tea done. Better than the KFC for lunch and nothing or just chocolate biscuits for tea, with lots of coffee.

Have also discovered a new addiction. A slice of lime or lemon in my drink bottle. Makes drinking the water so much easier and enjoyable.

Okay better go and get snuggles of hubby.

Mel

xx

12 months today

This time 12 months ago, I was lying on a really uncomfortable hospital bed, waiting to be wheeled to surgery. I was having a THR done. Was something that I had been prepared for as long as I remember, that this day would come. So I was lying there thinking about how this was going to change my life, no more crutches, no more painkillers, and being unable to drive, in case I fell asleep. But the biggest thing was the thought of being able to get my own socks, shoes and pants on. I wouldn't need to ask DH, or worse still the kids anymore


And in that 12 months, I've made a complete transformation, I am no longer the person I was. With having the op and the lead up to it, I changed my life. Not only can I say that I can now put my own socks and shoes on, but I can also cut my own toenails, I have zero pain. I can go to gym and do a back to back workout, and be able to walk the next day, and not have to dose up on pain relief.

I've also made a mental and emotional change too. I've got rid of all the negative people and things that were bringing me down, out of my life. I have discovered a whole new support network, who have been there for me throughout this whole journey. With no conditions, or no games or negativity that I previously had to deal with. I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year, but through hard work, I have managed to get off meds now. And I have never felt better in my life.

I went back to work and study about 3 months ago. Went to put in a resume for some casual work, walked out with a traineeship, and a great job, that I'm loving. And will have the opportunity to go onto more study and more qualifications if I want too.


So in a short 12 months, my life has completely changed, so much for the better. I can't believe how much that has happened, and how much I've achieved. So in general life is just fan-bloody-tastic right now. I have great family, great friends and just a great life.

Am so glad, that I took that first scary step of standing up and telling people I was coping with the hip anymore and that finally after 32 years, it was time to do something about it.

Mel

xx 

Time to turn things around

Well after a good start to the 12 WBT, I have totally fallen off the wagon, no gym, no eating right, just fallen into a heap in general. But after shopping for new clothes today, have realised that I really need to get real and get this transformation happening. Tomorrow is 12 months since I've had my hip done, so that excuse is gone, the excuse of enough time is gone, as really I have plenty. Especially with having a really supportive husband, who will pick up the pieces at home for me, while I'm at gym. So that's it, no more excuses. Have done up a whole weeks menu plan for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Going to sit down later tonight after work, and sort out a gym routine, and that's it no looking back anymore, only forward.

Have come to the realisation though, that 'challenges', diets etc just don't work for me. I need to concentrate more on just eating healthy, exercising and just enjoying life. Not allow myself to get hung up on what I'm eating next, how many calories has it got, have I had enough protein. Cos you know what, at the end of the day, it will all balance out. So I am only menu planning, to take the hard work out during the week with work and school, and trying to figure out what to have for meals. But I'm not going to get worried about the rest of it. I still want to enjoy life. And if it means having one creamy pasta dish for a lunch date, not a biggie, just eat lighter meals for the rest of the day. I just need to learn to balance it all.

So here's to the new me!!!!!!!!

Mel

xx

Day 1 for everything

Well have flown through the first day. Have stuck to my menu plan, even resisted Miss 5's crusts from her sandwich at lunchtime. And no emotional eating what so ever, even when the kids did push all day.

So now I'm just quietly sipping away on a protein shake, having just gotten home from RPM. 530 cals gone Max HR 181- 97% and average 161- 86%, and I'm feeling every last bit of it too. I was very close to the puking stage, I think one more sprint and that would've been the end of me. So hard trying to keep it together driving home, with the kids in the car. Last thing Master 7 and Miss 5 needed to see, is mum with her head out the window. Even worse, if the cops had driven past at all!!!

Got thinking though, just made a status update on FB, about the puking stage, and a g/f commented that she hoped I feel alright. Just struck me, that already I seem to have my fitness freak friends, who get what I meant. And on the other hand, I've got the friends, who honestly thought that I was sick. Didn't have the heart to tell her, that it's a good thing to puke after a workout, it's what you almost aim to achieve every time you step in that gym, or pull your runners on.

So day 1 is off to a fantastic start. It is even now day 1 of me not smoking anymore. I've known that I needed to stop, just one of those things I thought I would get to, once I'd sorted my food and exercise. On the way home from gym tonight though, the thought of ever having a cigarette again in my life, made me feel even worse. So what I had left in my packet has gone straight into the bin. And not another one is ever going to pass these lips of mine.

Righto must go cook some tea now, before it gets too late, and then work out what's on the menu for tomorrow.

Mel

xx

Kick off!!!!!!!!!!!

Well it's the eve of the big kick off to the official challenge. Feeling nervous, excited, scared, excited, not sure and did I mention excited!!! My head isn't quite in the place it was a couple of weeks ago. Feeling better now though with having the menu plans and exercise programs to work with. Feels like I will be able to cope with the diet and exercise much better. Instead of trying to work it out myself. So did a big shop, fridge is full, pantry is full and gym gear ready.

Need to sit down tonight and do my measurements, take a piccie, talking of which hope DH hasn't thrown out the paper. Not sure if I really want to know what my measurements are. It's a starting point, the starting point of my new healthy life. The old Mel will go and a more happier improved model is waiting there, ready to shine.

Had another good shift today. Buddied up in the dementia unit today. Loved it, they were all so sweet and lovely. But apparently I caught them on a good day lol. Now am thinking of heading towards psycho-geriatric nursing. I've always enjoyed working with the dementia patients.

So ready for day 1, planning on doing a RPM session tomorrow night. And just surviving the first official day of school holidays. So will be a real test tomorrow.

Mel

xx

Why oh why

Why can't I have just one day, that's right just one, in fact I'd be happy with just a couple of hours, of no whingeing, crying, back chatting, fighting. moaning, groaning, complaining. And that's from the kids and the hubby. It's TTOM, and I feel bloated, have a headache, cramps, feel like shit. Worked til 10 last night, working again tonight til 9, and all I want to do is just chill for the day. But no, seems my family have lost all concept of that these days. Have been eating like shit the last couple of days, water hasn't even had a look in.

Can't wait for another week until the 12WBT starts, will be able to get some menu plans in my hot little hands and stay a little more focused. That is my biggest downfall is not always making the time to plan what I'm having to eat. I would like to do it the night before, but with working til 9 and 10 the last 3 nights, it's just so hard too. Which of course is just another excuse.

I am staying positive though, I know that I can do this and I will do this. This is just another little bump in the road, that I will be able to get over. Just hard when the family doesn't seem to help much. Tired of cooking the same meals over and over and having people complain about what's dished out to them. Well they better get used to a completely new lifestyle quick smart. No more giving into individual demands, you don't like it, you cook it yourself, is going to be my new motto.

Well must go think about jumping in the shower and getting ready for work. Thank goodness it's only a 4.5 hour shift tonight, don't think I could cope with much more than that.

Mel

xx

Warning images may offend.

To be countable for the next 12 weeks, I've decided to do before, during and after photos. This is huge for me, literally putting it all out there. But it will make me think twice before anything goes through my lips that shouldn't. Will also post a piccie of my new boots. They just won't do up, so my goal is by the end of 12WBT I will be able to wear them.

Well for the news so far this week. It's going great. 45 mins cardio last night, Body Pump tonight. First time since the THR, felt fantastic being back again. Eating is going great guns as well. After school today, heated up some party pies, decided I was an idiot for doing it. So they went straight in the bin, and a tin of tuna and rice cakes came out instead.

So will be RPM tomorrow night, can't wait. Just love love love RPM!!!!!!!! So you could say things are just awesome at the moment. Life is really good, and about time too!

Well best post these pics and go get a green tea and curl up with my book for awhile.

Mel

xx

Commitments

My commitment is to stay focused on the program, not to run away when it gets all too hard and to get the newer, healthier, better model of myself out of hiding. And I’m committed to do the work to get there!


This is my commitment and promise, for not only the next 12 weeks, but for the rest of my life. Had a complete meltdown over the weekend. Best thing I did though, it has really refocused me, and made me finally realise that I need to do something, not only about my weight, but my entire life. I really am not happy with the person that I've become. I know I can be better and achieve more than what I am at the moment. So I'm shouting it to the world my commitment to Michelle, the 12 WBT, and my fellow challengers.

So started today fresh, put the last couple of days behind me, got up, dusted myself off and got on with it. Diet has been pretty good today. Did a 45 min cardio workout. Best bit, is I suffered through 10 min on the x trainer. I hate the x trainer, I try to avoid it at all costs. Not tonight, did 10 mins and felt great for doing it. So pump class tomorrow night, looking forward to doing it again. Haven't been to a class for over a year now.  Can't wait to get back again though.

Well homework is calling out to me, as well as a nice hot shower.

Mel

xx

Struggling............but will push ahead.

Am really struggling to stay focused at the moment. The kids seem to be extra feral this week, hubby seems to be on the attack and defence all the time. It feels like they are just all in my face just constantly yelling. What I would give for just one night, just one, of peace. And of no arguments, no back chatting, no me needing to ask more than twice for anything to get done.

I haven't worked for 7 years, and now trying to get the whole study/work/house juggle, just right. Unfortunately, seems that since I don't work the hours like hubby, I'm still expected to do everything, and if there is anything that needs to be done. He just doesn't seem to understand, I'd like to not have to ask. That he can just walk in and say okay I'll give the floors a quick vac, or do kids readers, or baths/showers. It's just constantly feeling like an uphill battle.

So needless to say the stress levels are high, and I'm really struggling to not just go running straight to the fridge or cupboard. More likely in the past both though. I have had a couple of glasses of wine. Know it wasn't the best idea, but felt like I was going to explode. Only had 2 glasses though,and tipped the rest down the sink. Didn't keep drinking, like usual.

On the up side, got to gym again tonight, even though the weather wasn't the greatest and would've been too easy to just come straight home and curl up in bed. I only did 30 mins, just couldn't get into it, also the top that I took, was just way too small, and I didn't feel very comfortable or confident in it. So went via the shops and picked up a couple new t.shirts. So all set to go for Friday.

Well hubby at gym, kids in bed, so might go run myself a nice warm bubble bath and just relax for awhile. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new beginning.

Mel

xx

Things are looking up..........

Or is that looking down. Seems I've managed to lose around 1kg over the last week. And considering I haven't gotten serious about getting healthy until the last couple of days, I think it's an awesome effort. Ate great today, didn't stray at all, not even for a small nibble. Was so hard at school though, with a few others getting hot chips with gravy for lunch. Didn't budge though, stuck to my salad sandwich and soup. Even organised enough to have made a salad with leftover roast pork for lunch tomorrow.

Went to gym straight from school today. Was a struggle though, was quite a slow boring day, so really couldn't be bothered going. Dragged myself there though, and feel awesome for doing it. Now enjoying my wine substitute in diet lime and soda. Have it in my wine glass, so I feel like I'm having a drink.

Am glad I decided to join up with Michelle, it's just the bit of motivation and support that I needed to get back on track. My supps arrived today, well I assume they did, have a sorry we missed you card, and that's the only thing I'm expecting. So will pick that up tomorrow. Bit more protein, hydroxycuts and chromium tablets, which will hopefully help with the cravings.

Well must go, kids are arguing about going to bed. Some days I feel like a UN negotiator, I'd be good at it anyway.

Mel

xx

Great day

Have had an awesome day. Cooked sausage rolls, banana cake and choc chip cookies for the family. And resisted it all. In fact had a great day of food and drink. For the first time in weeks, I've had more than  a sip of water. Lost count, but would've been at least 2 litres of water. I did have a couple more coffee's than usual though. That was mainly because I forgot to take my green tea bags to work. Must remember them this week. Also got quite a bit of housework done before I went to work.

Have started on my protein shakes, and hydroxy cuts again. Will go to gym after school tomorrow. Probably just some more cardio. Am hanging out for the 12WBT, to start officially, can't wait to see what torture, I mean programs Michelle has planned for us. Feeling really positive right now, and feel like I can and will achieve anything over the next 12 weeks.

Well should think about heading to bed, big day of school tomorrow. This is one thing I need to work on, getting to bed at an reasonable hour. And not try to do everything all at once.

Mel

xx

Getting real

Well nearly a week down in pre season, and feeling really good about it all. Task 2 for this week is about getting real and the excuses we make. I've been thinking about it long and hard about the excuses that I make in regards to exercise and healthy food choices. And was promptly hit with a few home truths. I realised there has been nothing stopping me from getting to where I want to be, for the last 3 years, it's the 'buts' that have stopped me. So I vow from this moment on, the word 'but' is no longer in my vocabulary. There will only be I will and I can.

Getting prepared for the challenge. Brought a couple of new gym outfits. Got them slightly smaller, so I have to lose weight and tone up, otherwise I won't be wearing them, ever. Also got a new MP3, my old one would hold 30 songs if it was lucky. So uploaded 110 songs to it today, would've done more, just ran out of time. Went to gym twice this week, 45 mins each time on the treadmill. So good to be back again. Geez my butt hurts though. Was interesting working the last 2 nights, with walking all the time. Am looking at getting a good pedometer, am interested to see how far I walk in an average shift. I feel like tonight, I've walked close to a marathon.

So off to a great start to the challenge. Food is getting better, and slowly getting into the exercise again. Next thing will be to get the dreaded bathers out for some before and after photos. I really need to do it, as I know that I'll lose weight,  and won't see it. Will think of myself as where I am now, even if it is 25 kg that I've lost.

Okay think I will sign off, feeling weary, need my beauty sleep.

Mel

xx

New dreams.....New beginnings

The time has come to face facts. I'm no longer 65kg, nor do I remotely look like I weigh 65kg. That eating a bag of chips each day, on top of the countless chocolate bars and the bottles of wine, is not going to assist with a healthy lifestyle. So I'm going to join in with Michelle Bridges 12WBT. I need a challenge, I need a push and most of all I need some support.

So from today this is the start of a new healthy lifestyle. One where I put myself first and get my love of the gym back again.

So guess a little about me, I'm Mel, mum to 2, wife to 1. I'm currently studying my Cert III in Aged Care and am hoping to go onto my Bach of nursing next year. I'm working in a local aged care facility, between going to school 3 days a week and running around after the family. So very busy around here.

Off to get this dream started!!!

Mel

xx