Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Struggling............but will push ahead.

Am really struggling to stay focused at the moment. The kids seem to be extra feral this week, hubby seems to be on the attack and defence all the time. It feels like they are just all in my face just constantly yelling. What I would give for just one night, just one, of peace. And of no arguments, no back chatting, no me needing to ask more than twice for anything to get done.

I haven't worked for 7 years, and now trying to get the whole study/work/house juggle, just right. Unfortunately, seems that since I don't work the hours like hubby, I'm still expected to do everything, and if there is anything that needs to be done. He just doesn't seem to understand, I'd like to not have to ask. That he can just walk in and say okay I'll give the floors a quick vac, or do kids readers, or baths/showers. It's just constantly feeling like an uphill battle.

So needless to say the stress levels are high, and I'm really struggling to not just go running straight to the fridge or cupboard. More likely in the past both though. I have had a couple of glasses of wine. Know it wasn't the best idea, but felt like I was going to explode. Only had 2 glasses though,and tipped the rest down the sink. Didn't keep drinking, like usual.

On the up side, got to gym again tonight, even though the weather wasn't the greatest and would've been too easy to just come straight home and curl up in bed. I only did 30 mins, just couldn't get into it, also the top that I took, was just way too small, and I didn't feel very comfortable or confident in it. So went via the shops and picked up a couple new t.shirts. So all set to go for Friday.

Well hubby at gym, kids in bed, so might go run myself a nice warm bubble bath and just relax for awhile. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new beginning.



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